Space

My whole understanding of space has been challenged.  I no longer can relate space with merely its physical domain, but rather by how I'm feeling in that domain.  It's busy here.  The sirens don't stop blaring and they're much more invasive and dreery sounding than the sirens in Canada.  I'm used to a city where I can walk down an entire block (or four!) without seeing a single human being.  Kelowna wasn't small, but it certainly isn't big.  Here, there are people everywhere.  It's a concrete jungle where the grass and plants are limited.  

I like my space.  I realize now it's something I've always taken for granted.  A spacious home, a big yard (in the back, on the side of the house and in the front), a back alley way where on occassion only a few neighbors can be found walking.  I could spread my entire belongings in a line down the road and not have to worry about a single person stepping on any of them (except, maybe, stealing some of them).  This is space I've always taken for granted.

It's non-stop busy in San Francisco and there isn't much room to spread out.  I use to enjoy the physical space I could possess, but I'm starting to understand that here it will be the physical space in my head that judges how I'm doing.  I can't just go lay in a grassy field all by myself to have some down time (at least not that I've discovered yet).  The downtime is how I'm feeling in my head.  I can choose to hear the sirens and the constant presence of people, or I can focus on the space within me and how I'm feeling.  To surrender to that inner mind is to be incredibly comfortable with myself and to accept my mind as a peaceful place, regardless of the noise and compact crowds.  

I am staying on a boat in a rather remote location overlooking the Bay area.  I like it here because if I go onto the upper deck I can look in front of me and not see anyone, only ocean.  I spent the entire morning and afternoon walking around the Embarcadaro which is busy, but again, I could see space out in the ocean.  I think my venture here is going to begin on the outside circle of SF and as I adapt to more and more of this city, I'll work my way in.  

It's an incredibly beautiful space here.  San Francisco is a dream.