It’s something I feel we all search for on a daily basis. I know when I don’t feel I have a purpose, when I’m not doing much during my day, I start to go crazy. Yes, there are those days where you want to sit on the couch and read a book all day, and that’s fine, that is your purpose for the day. But there are also the days turned to weeks where you don’t have a place to go, and you don’t sit on the couch to read a book, and you start to go crazy because you're not doing the things that fulfill you. I especially see it in relationships. One partner has their purpose, perhaps they go to a 9-5 type job everyday, and the other partner starts revolving their life around the working individual. They lose sight of their own purpose, their own desires and longing to create or do something. They wait on another. They expect to be fulfilled by another.
The thing is, no human being can fulfill us. I am reading this book and it talks about how high the divorce rates are, and how it is partially due to people in our day and age looking for fulfillment and purpose in the wrong places, rather, people. A hundred years ago, most people looked for their fulfillment and purpose in God or some higher power. Nowadays, we look for our fulfillment and purpose in others. We are looking for fulfillment in the wrong places. We're expecting people to make us happy, which isn't going to work well, because people are only people, and it's natural for us to disappoint.
I’m not here to talk about divorce or relationships, though. Well, relationships, yes, but the relationship you have with yourself. You. Yourself, as an individual being. This is the one relationship you will be in for the rest of your life. You. Your family may be around for most of your life, your spouse and some friends, but they won’t be with you from day one to day finish. Only you will. And so, you better get pretty comfortable in your own skin.
This means hanging out with you. This means finding purpose within you, not within someone else. This means doing things for you each day. I realize things get busy as you start to have a family, and doing things for you each day may seem impossible. I get that. I haven’t experienced it fully, but I hear the frustrations from parents. That’s fine, though. I don’t think there is anything wrong with working for your family and dedicating all your time to raising a family. I do think there is something wrong in expecting your family, friends, or spouse to be the sole ones that fulfill you. These people are going to help fill your happiness/purpose cup, and maybe almost to the very top, but the last little bit, that’s left for you.
Find hobbies. Find things that make you happy. And do them. Take time for yourself to build that relationship within yourself. It’s like dating, but dating yourself. Dating someone else takes time and energy. So does dating yourself. Find your purpose, find the things that make you feel like you, and then go do you.