To surrender.

I think, sometimes, there is this idea that to surrender is to give up and to give up is to fail. Maybe it’s the “American dream,” where we are taught to chase our dreams no matter what the cost and that only once we achieve our dreams will we be successful and worth it. Any other option is a failure.

And so it’s perhaps ironic, that in my life, I’ve experienced the exact opposite.

In surrendering, I’ve seen myself come back to life.
In surrendering, I’ve seen the things I’ve worked so hard to achieve and the things I’ve desired for so long, finally, come into fruition.

I didn’t give up in any of these situations either. I let go of control. For it was control that was actually producing defeat in my life.

I look back at relationships I was in and how hard I tried to make them work, when clearly they were out of my control and it was for the absolute best that I let go. I was so much happier once I let go. And then the right person did show up.

I look back at jobs I was trying to make work because staying seemed like the logical thing to do, but I had ran its course, and by letting go and moving on, other opportunities finally opened up. Opportunities bigger than I could have imagined. Opportunities that I would have missed had I stayed in those jobs.

I look back at times in my life where I felt “safe,” only to realize this safety was inhibiting me. I was no longer reaching my fullest potential, that is, until I finally let go.
Bought the plane ticket.
Moved to a new city jobless.
Took a chance on love again.
Spent all of my savings to travel and was still able to buy a house 6 months later.
Had a baby when they told me I couldn’t.
Worked for my dream company.

Things like that, where I just finally said, okay, I’m done trying to control this situation. Clearly, it is beyond my control. Sometimes this meant biting the bullet and just doing it even though I had been paralyzed by fear. Other times this meant letting go. Surrendering. Entirely. To the Universe.

And then, the Universe spoke back.
As it always has.

Sometimes in the *exact* way I had wanted things to go. Other times, the Universe answered back in a way I couldn’t have fathomed, thankfully, because this new way was so much better.

I know not everyone believes in God and I get why it may make more sense not to believe in God, but none of us can deny energy. So often, the energy we put out, is the energy we receive back. The desires we put out into the Universe are still heard, somehow, in some mysterious way, and these answers float back to us in ways I believe are more than just coincidence. There is something greater than us. A collective force. Billions of galaxies. Time. Gravity. Weightlessness. There is something greater than us that once we surrender to it, it usually comes back to us in the most magical, breathtaking way.

It’s a daily decision that requires a great amount of faith.
It’s a daily decision that once trusted, becomes the most freeing thing.