I haven't been traveling as much lately, and while I feel like every day my heart wanders for some place new, I'm starting to really appreciate having a home again. I think as an artist you don't find a lot of consistency in your life... You're always looking for more, you can never sit still, your mind is always in another world and your hands are constantly fidgeting. Home is part of my consistency.
The truth is, I moved into a garage. I found a two story home that has one bedroom downstairs (which I gave to my roommate) and the other room is a garage which has been insulated to be a bedroom, but it is most definitely a garage. I've kept everything very minimal in my garage bedroom because I'm wanting to keep it as a photo studio. It's super dark and gloomy and then I open the garage door and suddenly the room is filled with beautiful light. The walls are white and empty, the floor is concrete, and I love it. I even opted for a twin sized bed so that I'd have more space to shoot (which as an adult, feels a bit ridiculous). But, I wouldn't have it any other way. And so, during the days where my mind is racing, my hands are aching, I feel restless and like pulling out my hair, I go into my room and take photos. It's not even that I feel sad or worried, it's just like there's a camera inside of my chest and the lens is trying to zoom out and I must take photos or I will pop. I yearn to create. Taking photos is like instant tunnel vision where suddenly I can focus and find breath. It's not claustrophobic though, the tunnel vision still has room for my imagination, but it's like I can push out negative or wasteful thoughts and finally find balance. I love going out to the woods, I need to get out into the woods every few days or weeks, but being in a photo studio... There's nothing quite like it. The possibilities feel endless. You start with a blank canvas and then you start creating. I will create till the day I die, and even then, I don't think I'll be able to stop creating. Plant me under a flower bush so I can keep breathing. So I can keep growing. So I can keep creating.
Where do you find balance? I'd love to hear :)